He can be taught

C went on his first trick or treat excursion this Halloween and quickly picked up the script. At every house, he said:

"Trick or treat. Happy Halloween. Thank you."

He became so used to the positive responses to this little speech that he received at each house that he stood staring at someone in a mask who didn't seem to be quite as enthusiastic as others had been. Not quite sure what C wanted, that person assumed (correctly) that a second handful of candy would be sufficient for whatever was worrying C.

It may be true, but that's no reason to be rude.

"You're not my mamma, B*tch!"

Yelled at me by a (presumably) homeless woman standing on the street holding an umbrella and a McDonald's bag as I walked to the parking garage yesterday afternoon.

About his birthday cake

C: Me like it!

She was right, it is sad.

I took the girls to SFMOMA this weekend for the Frida Kahlo exhibit. We went through the whole thing, and in the last room Bella took a last look around and said: This art is sad.

Not exactly the response he was going for...

F., in response to Dad's joke about leaving the house with no clothes on:

You can't go out like that. Everyone would see your old, ugly penis.

Incomplete picture

After two years of living in the summer fog, my girls describe Mexico as "that place we didn't have to wear jackets." I try to remind them of the many other aspects of our trip to Mexico, but the not-wearing-jackets thing is all that really sticks...

Quite a dilemma for a 4 year old

B: I was planning to marry C., but then Mommy said I couldn't marry my brother. Now I don't know who I'll marry.

C's Pronunciation

Raisin bran: bi bam

Office: Off-ish

Fish: kissing noise with lips

Grapes: Bapes

I love you: Uh-voo

Another one: Ah-nun

Memory loss at age 4

D: How was your first day at school?

B: Go-od.

D: What did you do?

B: I don't know.

D: Who did you play with?

B: I don't remember.

D: Did you learn anything?

B: I don't know.

First Conversation

6:30 am; June 2008

M: Good morning C!

C: Daddy, honk-shoo?

M: No, Daddy isn't sleeping.

C: Daddy, off-ish?

M: No, Daddy's not in the office. Daddy went on a plane.

C: Daddy, plane?

M: Yes, that's right. He'll be back soon.